If you don’t dig all the lovey-dovey hearts and flowers stuff that is Valentine’s Day, skip to a different post. This one’s for the cloying, annoying, and utterly disgusting lovers out there. Or more to the point, for the romantically challenged men in town who need a bit of direction. Guys — listen up. DO make an effort on Valentine’s day. I know you’ve been oblivious all week to the subtle hints your honey-bunny has been dropping in vain, so I’m going to just knock you upside the head with some really obvious suggestions. Monday is Valentine’s Day, which means you still have time to order flowers, make dinner reservations, or buy jewelry over the weekend. We’ll start with flowers. First, you need to know who to call and what to order. (No nasty dyed carnations. Ever.) You can take the easy route and go to www.ftd.com, but you’re taking a chance on what she’ll receive. Skip the balloons and bears, please. Better still, go with a good local flower shop. The Tended Thicket (303-722-6815) on Old South Gaylord near Wash Park is always a safe bet, as is The Perfect Petal in Highlands. Downtown, Bouquets will send something just as fresh and lovely as your sweetie. Dinner’s a bit tricky — it’s pretty late in the game for reservations. But you can always celebrate early — say, Saturday night? Zengo has a special prix fixe menu prepared for the holiday, and spots like The Samba Room and Sparrow (303-832-6614) are offering their prix fixe dinner specials all weekend. Jewelry. Obviously tastes vary widely on this one, but a heart pendant is a classic. Amy Kahn’s “girlfriend pendant” is a fun piece in sterling silver, and won’t require special financing options. Over at Hyde Park, an entire collection of Valentine’s jewelry runs the gamut from reasonable to really, really indulgent. Plus, this weekend they’ll donate 20 percent of the purchase price to the Red Cross Tsunami Relief Fund. And here’s an idea that will be something of a gift to you both. Beer, brats, and bras, anyone? The Store of Lingerie in Cherry Creek is holding an event on Sunday to help make the shopping experience easier for men. The food and drinks are free, as is the gift wrapping. Surely that will make the entire Valentine’s experience much less painful. So come on, guys. Step it up and do something sappy this year. You’ll thank me later. (Note: I particularly like orchids, lilies, and tulips. Just FYI.)