I don’t normally hold grudges. But when it comes to bad food experiences, I never seem to quite get over them.

Case in point: The Palm.

I’ve received invites from Josh Hanfling and Walt DeHaven, who will both be on hand tonight as celebrity waiters to raise funds for the Children’s Hospital, the Make A Wish Foundation of Colorado, and Denver Public Schools. Sounds like a blast, and I’m certain that plenty of bold names will attend, but I have a little issue here. See, last time I went to the Palm, one my gal pals came thisclose to beheading a huge moth, dripping with ranch dressing and flopped across a piece of lettuce. Major ick factor. She almost had it in her mouth before she noticed its big furry wing. Bleck! Of course the restaurant manager apologized, comped a portion of our meal, and explained that unfortunately, every now and then the lettuce catches a critter that doesn’t come out in the wash. I understand that, logically. Still. I can’t get that image out of my mind whenever I set foot in the space.

I do realize that it’s me, not them. I have a problem with food phobias. I had an even worse incident once at the Great Northern Tavern, when a live cockroach walked out of my salad and marched across the tablecloth while I squealed and jumped up on my chair. (Not a pretty scene, that one.) I have never returned. It seriously grosses me out still, right now, just thinking about it.

So. I’ll be skipping dinner at The Palm. But you should go. Really. (Just eyeball that salad carefully, k?)