What’s Weirder? The pirates “living at DIA” (7News), or Quiznos’ latest advertising campaign (Westword)?

Averaging Out: You’re considered an average earner in the metro Denver area if you make about $24 an hour (Denver Post). Qwest’s top executives haul off with a lot more than that, but not all of them have settled on where to go next now that the company has merged with CenturyLink (Denver Post).

Tuned In: Local talk radio isn’t just for politics and sports anymore. AM760 is set to debut Colorado Craft Beer Radio on April 16 (Westword). Until then, Colorado Public Radio and KRCC will keep you entertained. CPR is airing a new production of Telling Stories twice in the upcoming days, and A Big Something‘s archives just became a lot more search-friendly thanks to a website redesign (CSIndy).

A Word of Advice: If you’re on probation, you might want to avoid crowded public events—like, say, Denver Nuggets games—after curfew. One MMJ dispensary thief didn’t get the memo (Daily Camera).

In Season: The weekend’s predicted summerlike weather is bound to inspire a back-to-the-earth instinct in some of us. Down along the New Mexico border, more ranchers are herding alpacas (Durango Herald), while up in Summit County, a group of green thumbs is devising a plan to reduce the cost of produce and basil in mountain towns (Westword). Garden-challenged thumbs take heart: The Boulder farmers’ market returns beginning Saturday (Westword).