January’s “Colorado Bucket List” feature left one crucial element unmentioned: Owning and wearing Colorado clothing. (We’re not talking about the Buffs or the Rams here.) It’s more complicated than simply sporting some gear with our iconic state flag splashed across the front. There are rules to showing your state pride without being over the top—and embarrassing the rest of us. Here’s a primer.
Tip #1: One emblemized article of clothing at a time, please. A shirt. A hat. A sock. A scarf. Not all of the above or even a combination of any two. Unless you’re the governor. Also, no wearing a Colorado state flag shirt with, say, a San Francisco Giants hat. (We have seen this, and worse, in the 5280 office.) Your loyalties might waffle from day to day (especially for all the transplants out there), but they shouldn’t change at your waist or neckline.
Tip #3: Ease in with some socks. But…
Tip #4: If we can’t see it, no need to show us. Like birthmarks and tattoos, it’s way cooler if you let us discover where your state flag is hidden on our own.
Tip #5: You don’t have to be a native to sport the Colorado state flag. But you probably should have lived here at least a month.
Tip #6: Clothing with the Centennial State flag on it counts in lieu of a Broncos shirt on game days.
Tip #7: A reminder to male millennials: A beanie is for keeping your head warm while making a fashion statement. It is not simply a fashion statement, nor a fringe-framing device. Read: Take it off at the dinner table or when it’s warmer than 70 degrees. And for the love of god (and the rest of us), wash it at least once a year.
Tip #8: Body paint does not count as Colorado clothing. Ever.
Don’t forget to check out The Colorado Bucket List: Our ultimate compilation of only-in-our-state things you need to do before you take your last breath of thin air.