June 27 2005, 4:37 PM
Despite the efforts of Colorado Congressional members Bob Beauprez, Joel Hefley, Tom Tancredo, and Marilyn Musgrave, the House voted last week to restore $100 million in funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. The funding helps media entities like PBS and National Public Radio stay on the air. Republican critics have long charged that PBS is "too liberal", a claim I was ready to dismiss until I took a look at "Sesame Street" myself. I was surprised with what I found: Oscar the Grouch A homeless guy allowed to live in a trash can who is a nuisance to area children. Only liberals would allow the homeless to live and not work amongst children. Bert & Ernie Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. They're just roommates. Yeah, right. Before long Bert & Ernie will be on the courthouse steps asking why they aren't allowed to get married or at least have a civil union. Liberal puppets indeed. Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy Homosexuality is the gateway to bestiality. See? We told you so. Cookie Monster He doesn't have a job that anyone can see, and he's always eating everyone's cookies. Leave it to liberals and their "welfare state" to discourage this monster from gainful employment. Big Bird Liberals are cowards. Cowards are yellow. Big Bird is yellow. Thus, Big Bird is a liberal. Tickle Me Elmo Where are the family values of a puppet who throws itself on everyone asking them for a tickle? There's a fine line between tickling and prostitution, and liberals think that prostitution is a victimless crime that should not be outlawed. Grover Is it a man or a woman? Probably a transsexual. Only liberals would let transsexuals have contact with their children. Count von Count Sure, he teaches kids to count. But it's probably that liberal "voodoo economics." At least that other vampire, Count Chocula, had a tasty cereal and contributed to the economy. Aloysius Snuffleupagus With a name like that, he must be an illegal immigrant. Liberals love their illegal immigrants. Maybe PBS should have been shut down after all. "Sesame Street" is overrun with liberal bias.