That's the first line you'll see at the top of the Santaland Diaries playbill from the Bug Theatre, and it sets the mood for the entire production. In this version of David Sedaris' account of his days as an elf in the Manhattan Macy's Santaland, Gary Culig plays Sedaris (aka "Crumpet" the elf), and he does an excellent job of portraying the snarky, whiny, irritable, wonderfully wicked and totally hysterical Sedaris. He makes fun of the other elves, the boss, the various Santas, the tourists, the kids, the parents, and everyone else he comes into contact with in Santaland. And he says many an un-PC thing that most of us would perhaps think, but never say out loud. But at the end (of course, it's a Christmas play after all) he finally gets touched by the true spirit of Christmas. I know it's cold, and you're busy, and money's tight this time of year for most of us. But go see it. This is a good one, and it's playing every night this week.