Let's Up the Ante

January 11 2006, 3:37 PM
Gov. Bill Owens has entered into a friendly wager with Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney over the outcome of the Denver Broncos-New England Patriots playoff game on Saturday. From The Rocky Mountain News:
Owens upped the ante last night on his bet with Massachusetts' Gov. Mitt Romney on the outcome of the Broncos' AFC playoff game with the New England Patriots Saturday. Owens called Romney Tuesday night and the governors agreed that the governor who loses the bet will wear the winner's home jersey in an appearance at a sporting event in the winning governor's hometown, Owens' spokesman Dan Hopkins said. "I won't be going to Boston. We've beaten the Patriots once this year -- and Saturday makes two," said Owens. "My friend Mitt Romney will look good in Denver's orange-striped jersey."
I've always liked when politicians participate in these goofy bets, because I think it's great to have a little fun with your office from time to time. Usually the bets are something silly that has to do with local goods, like if New England wins then Owens sends over a case of Coors beer, and if Denver wins Romney sends over a case of...whatever the hell they make in Boston. Baked beans? But why don't we up the ante to something more meaningful, especially given that the Broncos are three point favorites on Saturday? Here's my suggestions: If the Broncos win, Massachusetts agrees to take in all of Colorado's homeless people. There would be bipartisan support on this one, since Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper would probably be happy for help in housing the homeless. If the Broncos win, Massachusetts agrees to fund the rest of T-REX so Colorado can use that money on something else -- like building more roads. If the Broncos win, Massachusetts will pay for the cost of prescription drugs for Colorado senior citizens. Too serious for you? Fine -- but let's at least make the bet more sophomoric. If the Broncos win, Romney agrees to paint the Massachusetts state capitol gold to match Colorado's capitol building. If the Broncos win, Romney will come to work every day for a week wearing a Colorado flag like a toga. If the Broncos win, for one week Romney's security detail will carry around a mountain lion that will maul him every time he fails to enunciate the "er" in words like "chowder." If the Broncos win, Romney will give his State of the State Address wearing a white wig and overcoat like the kind Thomas Jefferson would have worn. If the Broncos win, Romney will replace the water inside the water fountains at the Colorado state capitol with Samuel Adams beer. Now if the Patriots win, Colorado will...I don't know what Massachusetts' problems are, but I'm sure we can work something out. It doesn't matter anyway -- the Broncos are the favorites.