Four Things We Didn't Know About Democrats Until Thursday Night at Invesco

August 29 2008, 7:46 AM
1. We love three-syllable chants.
Seriously, we've got this stuff down--go ahead, test us. "Yes, we can!" "O-bam-a!" While we normally prefer parroting what we hear in the speech, sometimes we'll even improv "U-S-A" if you get all patriotic in your narrative. However, props to the couple behind us who were slow to catch on to what the chants were. When "U-S-A" started, they went with "Vi-va Che." Might save that one for a different speech, folks.
2. If we have any free time, we're gonna do The Wave.
We may have just heard community testimonies about cancer and the loss of homegrown pet stores, but as soon as speakers leave the stage and we have a few minutes to ourselves, we're going to show you exactly how we feel by standing in a circle and raising our hands. Obama, did you see that, Obama? You didn't? Okay, how about if the dude to our left screams "Surf's up!" each time the wave approaches? Because he will, and he did, every single time. And that's when we realized the Democrats might be reaching those "salt of the earth" people who have proved so elusive.

3. We have a distinct lack of rhythm.

We start strong (see item #1), but we don't last long. Often, within two iterations of "Yes we can," we have managed to stray from the beat. Sections would split off, sometimes in that canonic "Row, row, row your boat" way, and sometimes they would take off bravely on their own sense of beat, all ending in chaos that we'd fix by just giving a finale of "Wooooooh!"

4. If you give it to us, we will wave it in the air.

They gave us flags. They gave us posters labeled "Change." Each time we gamely shared them with our section and hoisted ‘em above our heads. Oh, did you want us to wave those monster American flags three times our size? No problemo, just give us a second to stretch our lats. However, even as us more cynical Dems heard the speeches, saw the sunset, listened to the music and the cheering, we realized we may be kinda excited to wave our flag a few times, too.