How Do You Split the Restaurant Bill?
I have a test for evaluating a new friend: Go out eat and split the bill. If the "friend" is willing to divide the bill evenly, she's a keeper. If she demands to pay only based on what she ate, she may be worth a second dinner, but we aren't likely to ever be close. And if she only has cash, and not enough to cover her share, well, that second date isn't going to happen. For me, sharing food has always been a way to enjoy and express appreciation for other people. On birthdays, I make cupcakes. During the holidays, I bake desserts. On Sundays, I have friends over for dinner. Going out for a meal is no less of an opportunity to share--and paying the bill the final moment for someone else to tell you if they too perceive food as a way to give to another. Sure, swapping bites and chatting with the server gives you a sense of whether a potential friend is generous or calculated, but the bill is decisive--and real money must be laid down.
My preference has always been to split the bill evenly. So what if my friend orders two brunch mimosas and I got one? The next time we head out to Duo or Bistro Vendome, it might be the opposite. Besides, nitpicking about an $8 drink hardly seems an appropriate way to appreciate the French toast and good conversation that came before. I do understand that some people live on tightly balanced budgets or might be light eaters. If I eat a salad and my dining companion gets a steak, a 50-50 bill split doesn't seem fair. Or what if he orders an appetizer and I don't? Do we both pay? Perhaps the rules for dividing a bill aren't as simple as I've made them--or even a particularly fair way to evaluate a friend. But I'm still not convinced. How do you split the restaurant check?
Comments
Submitted by Robin (not verified) on Thu, 2009-05-14 06:15.
Jeez people, just pay for what you eat....keep it simple.
Submitted by of that age (not verified) on Wed, 2009-04-08 10:30.
like you, i've always been a divide-it-equally/what-comes-around-goes-around girl. until now. in my early(ish) thirties, all of my friends suddenly seem to be pregnant. it's annoying enough for them to watch the rest of us drink, we certainly can't stick them with the bill for it! we now subtract the booze from the bill and divide that new total by everyone at the table. then we divide the cost of booze by the number of drinkers and add that back into their amount. its the best way we've come up with to be fair, without going to the extreme of claiming every last item.
Submitted by cat (not verified) on Tue, 2009-04-07 15:05.
I agree in general about splitting the bill evenly. However if you have financial constraints, just DISCUSS this with your friends! If you are clear that you are coming out for a nibble and to hang out...i doubt, if they are your friends, they will push you into an uneven split. Communication is always key!
Submitted by jolene & family (not verified) on Sat, 2009-04-11 19:01.
I have this repetitive problem, yet it's with family. Siblings going out to eat, yet over-indulging on food and drink; it shows in our waistlines. How can I expect to remain trim (watch my consumption) yet expect to pay for overindulgence of extra drinks and dessert/dessert-coffees by my less than concerned siblings. I've got to start insisting on pay-as-you-go!
Submitted by a friend (not verified) on Thu, 2009-04-02 16:11.
If it really comes down to just a little money, I completely agree with you. But I do think this gauging a friendship on what your friend is willing to pay cuts both ways- and if I were the one who was expected to split the check evenly when I had eaten much less, I think I'd be concerned about the ability of my friend to be understanding that we don't all have the same budget. Just like you said, I'm not sure that friend and are are ever likely to be close. But I don't think the reason would have to do with my stinginess.
