I have a mixed opinion on vanity plates. I can certainly appreciate a clever one (see photo). But there’s also something about a customized metal tag that says I have enough money to force my wittiness upon you—even at 55 mph. In the case of Knowshon Moreno, a fourth-year running back for the Denver Broncos who was pulled over for drunk driving on February 1, it was more like 75 mph. His plate read...wait for it…SAUCED.

Yes, really.

Now I’ve met Mr. Moreno (we both went to the University of Georgia) and he seems like a rather nice young man. Polite, self-deprecating, even demure (although the Bentley he was driving could be evidence to the contrary). I liked him to be honest. So I was dumbstruck when I saw the billboard he had placed on the back of his vehicle. If he’d had more letters, he should have simply written PLSPULMEOVR.

So it got me thinking of other phrases that vanity plate aficionados might want to avoid if they don’t want to attract the police. 

NEBRI8D

2SHEETS

TWEAKD

LIFTED

COPH8TR

TOKING

TEXTIN

LOADED

GRDTHFT

HAMMRD

SPEEDIN

STONED

TRASHD

TRIPIN

POTHED

BLITZD

OVRPT08

LUVTHC

FLORNIT

L8TROFCR

Got more suggestions? Let us know!