Turns Out, Colorado Is Still Pretty "Douchey"

March 21 2014, 1:00 PM

First, the good news: Denver may not have as many douchebags as we thought. Those who beg to differ—and until a few minutes ago, I would have—should read this highly scientific (sic) ranking from the blog Estately.com. In it, the authors surveyed Facebook pages to see how many men have "liked" such notoriously douchey people and things as Chris Brown, Vin Diesel, Axe Body Spray, Dane Cook, Nickelback, mixed martial arts, and Monster Energy Drink. (What, no Mountain Dew?!)

After tabulating the results, the authors determined that Denver is merely the 73rd-douchiest city in the United States, well behind notable douche meccas like San Antonio, Anaheim, Chicago, Jacksonville, and Tampa. (My money for number one would've intuitively been on Vegas, but it ranked only 29th, but about half the "winners" in the top 20 are curiously located in the Southwest.)

Now, the bad news: Both Aurora (number four) and Colorado Springs (number seven) make the area around Denver especially douchey. About the Springs, Estately notes: 

"If residents of Colorado Springs had to put a dollar in the douchebag jar every time they thought they saw Kirk Cameron drive past in a Mazda Miata while blasting Creed, they could easily raise enough money to pay off the national debt in a month."

And the authors see Aurora as a paradise of d-bags who are "easily spotted by their popped collars, True Religion jeans, and frosted tips."

The moral: If you ever want to observe the American douchebag in his native habitat, you won't have to venture very far beyond Denver's borders—or you could just hit LoDo on any weekend night.

—Image courtesy of Shutterstock

Follow 5280 articles editor Luc Hatlestad on Twitter at @LucHatlestad.