Conduct Unbecoming

Is he a rapist or a pawn in a military game to discredit the Air Force Academy sex scandal? For the first time, Douglas Meester answers the charges.

February 2004

It was after midnight, and Jacqueline Woods*, an 18-year-old freshman at the United States Air Force Academy, was feeling too ashamed to sleep. She flicked on her computer and saw that her brother, an academy senior who lived in a neighboring dorm, was also online. As they began exchanging instant messages, she decided to tell him what had happened - at least what she could remember.

Hey, Josh, I need to talk to you about something serious but I don't know if I can.
What is it?
Last night, I did something really stupid and it turned out really, really bad.
Like what?

Woods explained that the night before - Oct. 18, 2002 - she had downed a squeeze bottle full of booze in her quarters and then went to the nearby room of sophomores Douglas Meester and Jason Wager. There, with Meester, Wager, and Robert Rando, a junior, she drank even more.

[I] got completely messed up to the point where I couldn't hold myself up. And for pretty much the whole night I guess I was hanging off of Rando, but he was messed up too and was trying to make arrangements to kick his roommate out so we could go over there, but still I was too out of it to know what all was really going on. It seemed like everything wasn't real.
The even more fucked up part was the stupid [Meester] who's room we were in, [who's] on frickin' alcohol probation and all this shit, kept tryin' to make out with me every time Rando left the room to kick his roommate out. Finally Rando was gone for like 15 minutes or something and I had to be propped up by [Meester] and I guess he thought because I was leaning all over him that I wanted to get on him - but I started blacking out at that point. It was like in and out, but basically the guy was messin' with me because I couldn't really move.
Anything else?
Anyway, he had to like carry me back and I was still fuckin' out of it until like 10 a.m. - but then I would get flashes of things that happened last night that I didn't remember and just everything's fucked up.
Flashes of what?
Like stuff the guy was doing to me.
What was he doing?
Everything and it's all my fault.
Did he rape you?