What's Weirder? The pirates "living at DIA" (7News [1]), or Quiznos' latest advertising campaign (Westword [2])?

Averaging Out: You're considered an average earner in the metro Denver area if you make about $24 an hour (Denver Post [3]). Qwest's top executives haul off with a lot more than that, but not all of them have settled on where to go next now that the company has merged with CenturyLink (Denver Post [4]).

Tuned In: Local talk radio isn't just for politics and sports anymore. AM760 is set to debut Colorado Craft Beer Radio on April 16 (Westword [5]). Until then, Colorado Public Radio and KRCC [6] will keep you entertained. CPR [7] is airing a new production of Telling Stories [8] twice in the upcoming days, and A Big Something [9]'s archives just became a lot more search-friendly thanks to a website redesign (CSIndy [10]).

A Word of Advice: If you're on probation, you might want to avoid crowded public events—like, say, Denver Nuggets games—after curfew. One MMJ dispensary thief didn't get the memo (Daily Camera [11]).

In Season: The weekend's predicted summerlike weather is bound to inspire a back-to-the-earth instinct in some of us. Down along the New Mexico border, more ranchers are herding alpacas (Durango Herald [12]), while up in Summit County, a group of green thumbs is devising a plan to reduce the cost of produce and basil in mountain towns (Westword [13]). Garden-challenged thumbs take heart: The Boulder farmers' market returns beginning Saturday (Westword [14]).