Remake Ferris Bueller's Day Off in Denver.
—Photo illustration by Sean Parsons
Thirty years ago this month, filmmaker John Hughes unveiled the Tao of Ferris.* Buellerism’s most important tenet, of course, is that the haste of everyday life requires one to “stop and look around once in a while.” As devoted Buellerites, we’re honoring the wisdom of Chicago’s craftiest adolescent absentee with this Denver reboot of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
8 a.m. Come on, live a little
Have a depressed best friend whose father owns a Ferrari? Yes? Great! Steal it! If not, call Mile High Drives. Renting a Ferrari F430 for 12 hours will set you back $699—but that’s why you work (most of) the rest of the year, right?
10 a.m. Anything is peaceful from 272 feet
Store the Ferrari in a garage—relax, it’ll be fine—and book a tour of the Colorado State Capitol. Then climb 99 steps to the newly restored observation deck for a 360-degree view of everything you’re about to conquer.
11 a.m. Funny money
To prove that playing hooky is educational, Bueller and his crew watch brokers make money at one of Chicago’s equity exchanges. We might not have a public trading floor, but at the Denver Mint you can watch people make money too—like, actual coins.
Noon Are you suggesting that I’m not who I say I am?
In laid-back Colorado, we simply don’t do snooty restaurants like the movie’s hoity-toity Chez Quis. But Ellyngton’s at the Brown Palace Hotel provides the same white-tablecloth, power-lunch vibe. If you have trouble getting seated, let the host know he’s dealing with the Abe Froman, craft-beer king of Colorado.
1:10 p.m. Hey batter, swing batter! Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy
Sit in section 137 of Coors Field on June 15 to watch the Rockies drub the dreaded Yankees. According to the IdealSeat app, that’s the best place to catch a foul ball—and maybe break your thumb.
3 p.m. Artistic interlude
At the Clyfford Still Museum, cue up the Dream Academy’s instrumental “Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want” on your phone and go tripping Cameron Frye–style into the abstract painter’s “PH-1049.”
4 p.m. I’d like to dedicate it to a young man who doesn’t think he’s seen anything good today
Unless the Avs win the Stanley Cup—and that ain’t happening—don’t count on attending another weekday parade. Besides, the “Danke Schoen” scene is really about honoring German heritage (Bueller solos at the Von Steuben Day parade). Toast our lederhosen-loving friends during happy hour at LoDo’s Rhein Haus. Lift enough Hefeweizen and you’ll be twisting and shouting in no time.
5 p.m. You’re my hero
Re-create Bueller’s poolside resolution scene (minus the comatose BFF) at Mestizo-Curtis Park’s outdoor pool. Well, all but the fake drowning part. Doing that bit will probably get you the boot.
*Unfamiliar with its principles? Red Rocks Amphitheatre will screen the movie on June 20 as part of its 2016 Film on the Rocks series.
—Photo illustration by Sean Parsons; (skyline, coin, lederhosen) iStock; (Brown Palace) Wikipedia