Colorado men treat their beards and mustaches like living art. Jordan Weinstein, owner and founder of Denver’s Proper Barbershops, helps us make sense of the scruff, haute hair, and manscaping you’re likely to see on the street (and slopes).
Basic to advanced…
Grow Time: Given that the average growth rate for facial hair is between a quarter inch and half inch per month, you’re looking at mere hours to five days
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Maintenance Cost: Professional help is optional ($0) + Andis Professional Styliner II Trimmer—and plenty of oil to keep it running smoothly ($65)
Care Tip: Take special care to have the bottom of the stubble hit midway through the Adam’s apple. Then shave the sides upward at a 45-degree angle.
Natural Habitat: Community workspaces
The Perfectly Pruned Beard
Grow Time: Four to five weeks
Maintenance Cost: Three trims per month at the barber ($30) + Colorado Beard Co.’s Brush Strokes Boar Bristle Oval Military Style Brush ($13.99)
Care Tip: Brush often to keep these relatively short hairs going in the same direction; they won’t be long enough for gravity to give them a uniform droop.
Natural Habitat: The offices of University of Colorado professors and their copycat graduate assistants
The Box Beard
Grow Time: Three to eight weeks
Maintenance Cost: Twice-monthly barber visits ($20) + Beard Monster wooden comb ($10)
Care Tip: Most of the volume should be evenly distributed at the bottom, so keep the sides neatly trimmed and faded into the sideburns.
Natural Habitat: Any mountain town
The No-Nonsense Mustache
Grow Time: 10 weeks (six weeks for a solid beard, then start shaving to reveal the mustache—a nascent mustache by itself just looks creepy)
Maintenance Cost: Twice-monthly barber visits ($20) + Beardbrand Mustache comb ($10)
Care Tip: Make sure to visit the barber as soon as your lip caterpillar starts to encroach upon the lip itself.
Natural Habitat: Denver’s financial district; your dad’s upper lip
The Handlebar Mustache
Grow Time: 10-plus weeks
Maintenance Cost: Twice-monthly barber visits ($20) + The Vintage Beard Co.’s Olde Country Moustache Wax ($10.99)
Care Tip: Men with thick mustaches should opt for a heavier wax to keep the hairs pointed up.
Natural Habitat: Hipster coffeeshops, à la Black Eye Coffee, Crema Coffee House…we could go on
Grow Time: Six to eight months
Maintenance Cost: Monthly trip to the barber ($10) + Pennywood Beard Oil ($12 to $19)
Care Tip: Apply oil once a week (and a little throughout the day) to give your beard a
Natural Habitat: Forest Room 5’s campfire
—Embedded illustrations courtesy of Shutterstock