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So you say you’ll head to Canada if Clinton/Trump wins the election, eh? Time to put your loonie—that’s Canuck for a dollar—where your mouth is. You’ll miss Colorado, sure, but don’t stress: 5280 has put together a helpful guide for relocating to the Great White North.
1. Getting In: Canadians are savvy as well as polite. They evaluate potential residents based on their abilities to contribute to the greater good, which means that if you have valuable training, such as petroleum engineering or nursing, you have the best shot of getting in. (Read: Good luck, liberal arts majors.) However, if that fails, maybe give Maple Match a try. The online dating site’s current home page claims that it “makes it easy for Americans to find the ideal Canadian partner to save them from the unfathomable horror of a Trump presidency.” Your move, Tinder.
2. Eat, Drink, Be Canadian: Quesada, a fast-casual burrito joint, is Canada’s answer to Chipotle—and has yet to give anyone norovirus. If Glazed & Confuzed Donuts have turned you into a fried-dough fiend, you’re in luck. Canada has more doughnut shops per capita than any other country. But most important, craft brews rule Canada too. If you’re a Dale’s Pale Ale devotee, check out Central City Brewers & Distillers’ Red Racer Pale Ale. And Alberta-based Troubled Monk Brewery’s Open Road American Brown Ale comes close to matching the chocolatey heartiness of Left Hand Brewing Company’s Black Jack Porter.
3. Where To Live: Like Denver, Calgary sits just east of the Rocky Mountains, has a pricey median home cost, and fields a hockey team (the Calgary Flames) that has made the NHL playoffs only once during the past six seasons—just like the Colorado Avalanche. Guelph, in Ontario, is a perfect sister city for Boulder: It boasts the University of Guelph, champions progressive politics, and is home to a slew of hippies. One-percenters can trade Vail for Whistler, a stunning, world-class ski destination north of Vancouver.
USA vs. Canada
Population: USA: 321 million; Canada: 35 million
GDP: USA: $17.9 trillion; Canada: $1.6 trillion
Unemployment rate: USA: 4.9 percent; Canada: 6.9 percent