Rant: Ordering off the kids’ menus should be acceptable for grown-ups.
Why are kids’ menu options not always available to adults? I know most dining establishments don’t make you break out your ID to prove that you are, in fact, 12 or under, but you still get a scowl from the server like you’re purposely cheating him or her out of an extra dollar or two. But it’s not about the cash—it’s the portion size, and the fact that kids’ meals often come with slightly healthier side options, like apple slices instead of chips.
Case in point: the child-portion poquito burrito at Illegal Pete’s. Instead of a monster tortilla, you get a mini one. Choose chicken or steak, add your favorite fixin’s, and you have a burrito that doesn’t account for all three of your daily meals in one. It’s a perfecto burrito. Until I stop fitting into kid-sized shoes, don’t count on me to quit hijacking the mini menu.
Rave: Broncos vets are reigning in the young bucks.
When Peyton Manning started wearing orange and blue, he easily could have left all the young Broncos receivers standing in awe of him, watching them stumble over blades of grass while running routes (OK, so the latter actually happened). But instead of arriving in Denver with a God complex—which his talent practically gives him the right to—Manning has become the team leader and, more importantly, the team mentor.
The Broncos are veterans in some positions (think Champ Bailey, Keith Brooking, and Chris Kuper). In others, not so much; wide receivers Demaryius Thomas, Trindon Holliday, and Eric Decker come to mind. But no matter the age or skill set of these players, Manning needs one thing: for everyone to do his job. Manning’s throws are in the receivers’ hands almost before they can extend their arms. He needs to know they’ll be there, every time—and he expects it. From the get-go in training camp, for instance, Manning took a liking to Decker. But before making him a go-to guy, the kid from Minnesota had to show up in practice and on the field.
Manning isn’t alone in his papa bear ways. In the Broncos recent Sunday Night Football win over the New Orleans Saints, veteran wide receiver Brandon Stokley nixed a planned alley-oop touchdown celebration dreamt up by Decker and Thomas since a “premediated celebration” by two or more players is grounds for a penalty and a fine. “They were mad at me on the sideline for stopping them,” Stokley told Mike Klis of the Denver Post. “It’s tough being a dad sometimes, you know? I’ve got these other two knuckleheads I’ve got to mold. These kids, nowadays. You’ve got to put them in timeout.”
I want to thank you both for keeping the younger bucs in line. The only spectacle we need on Sports Authority Field is the one that comes with a Super Bowl.
—Image courtesy of Shutterstock.
Follow editorial assistant Lindsey R. McKissick on Twitter at @LindseyRMcK.