It’s not quite as spiritually uplifting as wise men chasing a star to find a miracle baby, but Frank Costanza’s origin story for Festivus, a December holiday that gained notoriety on Seinfeld in 1997, kicks off one of that sitcom’s best plot lines:
Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born…a Festivus for the rest of us!
Kramer: That must have been some kind of doll.
Frank Costanza: She was.
As described by Frank—father of George, husband to Estelle, co-creator of the manssiere—the December 23 holiday features an unadorned aluminum pole instead of a tinsel-covered tree; feats of strength in which the head of the household must be pinned; and the “Airing of Grievances,” where you go around the dinner table and tell everyone how they disappointed you during the past year.
It’s all great fun—and it’s not just some TV gimmick: Seinfeld writer Dan O’Keefe’s father actually came up with Festivus back in 1966.
So while America has only been toasting Festivus for two decades, the actual holiday turns 50 years old this December. To celebrate the un-holiday’s golden anniversary, we’re asking our readers to share with us how Denver or Colorado has disappointed you during 2016. We realize this is a difficult task, what with the Mile High City and the Centennial State being amazing places to live (just ask all the long-boarding millennials moving here).
But we’re guessing that are still plenty of local problems worthy of your gripes, from traffic jams along I-70 to, well…all the long-boarding millennials moving here. All we ask is for you to tag your gripes on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter with #5280Festivus. Then go to town on all of the people, projects, etc. that have really disappointed you in 2016. Your best grievances might even be included in the December issue of 5280.
Don’t think of this as complaining; think of it as cleansing your palate before heading into what promises to be a glorious 2017. It has to be less grievous than this awful year, right?