Online Dating: Profile Writing, Part One

February 3 2009, 12:18 PM

Before you post your personal profile to Match.com or send it through the channels of eHarmony, make sure to read, and re-read, your bio carefully, watching out for phrases that will attract dates and others that turn them off. Here, Denver relationship guru Rachel Greenwald offers her feedback (in bold) to a real online profile from a woman with the screen name EasyGoing43.

Screen Name: EasyGoing43 [bland, not enticing] Headline: (none) [a wasted opportunity to leave this blank; a bit lazy] I have my own real estate business and am very independent. [an immediate turn-off for most guys: she's saying "I don't need you"] I like to pursue my own interests (hiking with my dogs, making scarves, watching Avs games) [good list: fun] and am happy for my partner to have separate hobbies and preferences. [sounds a bit stand-offish: I'll do my thing, you do yours] While I am quite social for a living, I err on the quiet side in my personal life. I love deep conversations on my patio rather than going out for fancy dinners. [that's fine: signals depth rather than "party girl"] While I am financially independent, I am not materialistic. [tricky territory: too much potential for misinterpretation; money talk in any form doesn't belong in your profile] Being outdoors with my dogs ranks high on the list of things that make me happy. [good! popular attitude in Denver: great to attract men, as long as you're not saying I'm obsessed with my teeny, tiny poodle] I also like watching the sun rise at Red Rocks and singing in the shower. [corny stuff: not very unique] Having grown up in Europe, I now mostly prefer vacations in the U.S. (anywhere near a beach). [generic: needs details to liven it up] When not outside, I love to read: The NY Times, as well as fiction and nonfiction. [again, generic] I am not much of a cook [this is okay, it's good to be humble] but am always appreciative of friends' home-cooked dinners and enjoy the random contents of picnics. [a nice line, but falls short: lacks clever details] I am looking for a professional man who is tall, thoughtful, and has a great sense of humor. [duh: who isn't looking for that?] Visit 5280.com/singlesblog tomorrow to read Greenwald's rewritten version of EasyGoing43's online profile.