I would like to start off by saying thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to my story. I also would like to thank 5280 Magazine, Megan Feldman, and everyone that had a part in sharing my story with the community at large. It means the world to me, and I cannot express the love I have for you all at 5280.

When all of this happened almost 3 years ago—I was diagnosed in January of 2009 with breast cancer—I never imagined that so much good would come of it. I promised myself in the beginning that this cancer was not going to take over my life or change who I was, and that I was going to fight through all of this “dark” and be a source of some light.

I was raised to take the things that life has given you, whether good or bad, and make the best of them. I have never been much of a victim or a person to focus on the negative. I live by the saying: “Never let anything steal your joy.” I got that phrase, my motto, from my uncle Ted, who told me that years ago, while I was sitting on the front porch with him; I was crying after having been disappointed. I have clung to that with all I have since that day and live by it everyday.

I am so excited to start this blog. My promise to you all reading this is you are going to get to know exactly who I am. I want people to know the raw feelings that I am experiencing during this battle, and I want you to be able to relate to what I will be talking about. I will address all aspects of my life, whether that is talking about the violence and abuse I experienced growing up, surviving Columbine, battling terminal breast cancer, or being a mom and a wife. During this process, my hope is that I will make people smile and feel a love in their life that they may have never experienced before.

An update: Last friday my doctor did tell me that my cancer is back, in my liver.

I made the decision to begin participating in a clinical trial at University Hospital at the end of August. This will include starting chemo again. I will be meeting with doctors in the weeks to come. I will post an update about what happens, what meds I will be taking, what chemo I will be doing, and how often.

I want this blog journal to be something that when my daughter Abbey reads it years down the road, she will know exactly who her mom is, not was.

Thank you for reading. I am looking so forward to this experience.

Read “What Happened to Abbey’s Mom.”

Read Nicole’s first blog post.

Read Nicole’s second blog post.

Read Nicole’s third blog post.

Read Nicole’s fourth blog post.

Read Nicole’s fifth blog post, part one and part two.