The martial arts have received some rough press in Colorado of late. A man wielding a set of nunchucks and claiming to be a “karate master” nearly tangled with Summit County authorities last week before surrendering. The man squared off with officers at an Interstate 70 median near Silverthorne, after apparently getting kicked off a bus to L.A. “He saw a girl with the ‘swine flu’ and attempted to eliminate her by grabbing her throat,” according to the police report. The Summit Daily News writes that the man, who had just been released from a Denver jail, was charged with, among other things, possession of a weapon and marijuana. “En route to Summit County Jail, the man told the officer ‘that he was 468 years old, and was being hunted across the country by priests, nuns and monks,'” the paper writes. In other kung-fu news, Jefferson County cops are looking for the Nicotine Ninja, a man clad in black who is wanted for stealing $120,000 worth of cigarettes, name brands only. According to CBS4, the ninja has hit 118 liquor stores around the metro area in the last two years, breaking in to grab Camels and Marlboros in the middle of the night. And a New York woman won a $2 million lawsuit for brain injuries sustained while mock-sumo-wrestling at a company retreat at the Cheyenne Mountain Resort in Colorado Springs. The event-hosting company, Gravity Play Entertainment, and the resort each took a share of the blame from the Denver jury, reports CBS4.