Statehood, it seems, isn’t a whole lot different than high school.

Last week Business Insider and SurveyMonkey released a kind of monstrous digital slam book that polled 1,603 citizens on what state (besides their own) was the smartest, nicest, drunkest, and hottest. (Colorado earned none of these titles.) Dubious statistical validity* aside, it’s just plain fun. And since so many Coloradans come from somewhere else (see this month’s “Pioneers 2.0“), we figured you’d enjoy a few highlights.

Colorado earned top honors as the state with the most beautiful scenery, besting even Hawaii. Of course, our proximity to the state with the worst scenery (Kansas) and a close runner-up (Nebraska) might give us a comparative advantage. Or as one friend points out, “It’s kind of like being the seven in a bar full of twos.”

We also took home second place honors in the popularity contest: Only California got more votes (194) when residents were asked, “Which state is your favorite?” If we were Florida, we’d demand a recount. But then again, maybe that’s why the Sunshine State ranked highly in the least favorite state category.

We missed out on the other homecoming court categories—hottest, smartest, and nicest—which went, respectively, to California, Massachusetts, and Georgia (the latter only because, as Business Insider rightly reports, most Americans don’t understand that “bless your heart” is facetious).

But we also avoided landing at the top of any of the nasty lists, such as ugliest (Alabama), rudest (New York), most arrogant (New York, again), and, relatedly, most overrated (New York gets the trifecta). A word about this last one and logic: You can’t call New York overrated, America, when you keep putting it at or near the top of lists like Best Food, Best Sports Fans (also the worst), Smartest, and Favorite State. Not that I’m arguing against the Empire State’s inflated reputation. After all, I hail from Oregon, officially now one of the country’s most underrated states.

*Worth noting: Survey Monkey’s touts its “Audience” feature as having more accurately predicted the 2012 election than some pollsters.

—Images courtesy of Shutterstock

Follow senior editor Kasey Cordell on Twitter @KaseyCordell.

Kasey Cordell
Kasey Cordell
Kasey Cordell is the former Editorial Projects Director for 5280.