For all you would-be advice columnists long frustrated by rejection slips, sit down and pour yourself a glass of whiskey. Make it a tall one. Skip the ice.

The Hollywood Reporter writes that Fox has given nine-year-old Alex Greven, of Castle Rock, a payment in the mid-to-low six-figure range for the film rights to his “cute” 46-page self-help tome, “How to Talk to Girls.”

Among Greven’s nuggets of wisdom (via MediaBistro): “Comb your hair and don’t wear sweats; control your hyperness and cut down on sugar if necessary; a crush is like a love disease that can drive you mad; it is easy to spot pretty girls because they have big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewelry but are like cars that need a lot of oil.”

HarperCollins, which obviously employs a soft hand when editing fourth graders, published the book. Greven initially sold it for $3, as a self-published work, to classmates.